I quit Goldman Sachs to be a stay-at-home dad. More men should look after the kids so women can have careers.

I spent close to 12 years at the company. It’s where I met my wife, who joined the company after me. We had two children in 2018 and 2023.

In 2023, I resigned from my job and became a stay-at-home dad. I enjoyed a great career, but now I want to focus on my family and take the mental load of housework off of my wife — I think other men should be open to doing the same.

I loved my experience at Goldman Sachs. My family and career grew while I worked there.

I joined Goldman Sachs full-time in 2012, working on the equity research team. Working at a preeminent financial institution like Goldman is a dream job. I was earning a good salary and felt like I’d gotten somewhere in life.

I had a great experience at Goldman. There was a flat hierarchy where junior employees could contribute at the highest level. I loved working in different locations, and I always felt like I was growing.

My long tenure is a testament to how much I enjoyed working there — it’s the only job I’ve had.

I met my wife when she joined the company in 2014. We started dating and got married in 2017. Later that year, we both relocated to the Hong Kong Goldman office.

We had our son in December 2018, and in January, we were both promoted: my wife from analyst to associate and myself from associate to executive director. It was a great period; our family and careers were expanding.

The pandemic made us rethink our parenting arrangements and I eventually decided to quit my job

Our son was a top priority, but we were both working hard and near the start of our careers in Hong Kong.

My wife went back to work after maternity leave, and we hired a full-time helper to look after our son. We tried to finish work by 6 or 7 p.m. and drop home for lunch whenever we could.

When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, our son was just over a year old. We got to work from home and spend more time with him, but still had our helper around most of the time. Seeing our son experience our presence made us realize that with our second child, we wanted at least one parent to always be around.

Mothers typically take career breaks to be with their kids, but we had similar careers, and I was open to taking a break instead.

When our second child was born in February 2023, my wife had moved to a different company. Goldman introduced 20 weeks off for parents irrespective of gender, and we both took parental leave.

It reinforced our decision that I should leave my job.

We’d been in Hong Kong for nearly six years, but we didn’t want to build our lives there. The plan was for me to quit, and we’d move to Delhi, where my wife’s family lives.

My wife’s firm was flexible, allowing her to work from home in Delhi and be around the kids. Meanwhile, I wanted to fully devote my time to family rather than juggling a job and parenting.

Working parents claim our jobs are just a salary, but in reality, we tie our identities to them and center our days around them.

We spend eight to 10 hours a day at work. We may have a couple of hours with our kids at home, but they aren’t the center of our calendars, even if they are the center of our lives.

I wanted to change that, so I handed in my resignation in November 2023 and left the company in February 2024.

We were both earning six figures in USD at our jobs and had enough saved that finances wouldn’t be an issue after I quit, especially living in India, where the cost of living is lower than Hong Kong. We now fund our lifestyles through my wife’s income and the returns from our joint savings.

I’m very privileged to be able to leave my job. I got to build a financial cushion and experience a great career.

I’ve tried to take on more responsibilities at home and relieve my wife of them

I’ve tried to take on as many childcare responsibilities as I can. Now, I drop off and pick up my son and care for our younger child while my wife is at work. We split tasks like bath times and putting the kids to bed 50/50, but I’ve taken more ownership of other chores.

It’s great not having to look at my calendar for anything my wife and kids need me for.

We still have a helper who cooks, but childcare is handled completely by my wife and me.

My wife has always been the captain of the household tasks. Since I don’t instinctively know what needs to be done, she delegates tasks to me. I want to help take the mental load off of her.

She’s still in charge of the kitchen, giving instructions to our helper and cooking occasionally herself. I’m not into cooking, but I want to learn.

I’m now probably busier during the day than I was at Goldman. I also have side ventures like angel investing and writing, which help me stay intellectually stimulated. They only take up a couple of hours when my family is asleep.

I want to keep anchoring my life around my family, but once my daughter starts school, I’ll need to fill up my time. It’s more likely that I’ll work on a passion project rather than a corporate job again unless circumstances require me to have another job.

Stay-at-home dads are still a rarity, and I think that needs to change

I’m proud of being a stay-at-home dad, but in a society like India, it’s still conventional for the man to be the breadwinner. I’ve kept the news about what I’m doing now on a need-to-know basis.

Even outside India, fewer women occupy senior positions at work. We live in a world that recognizes gender inequalities more than ever before, but there’s still so much more room to change things.

A lot of women take career breaks to prioritize their kids, which enables the men to work. If there’s ever going to be parity between men and women, more men need to be the ones staying home with the kids.

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