Market Data 
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Jennifer Ong, 33, a former vice president at BlackRock turned career change coach and podcast host. The following has been edited for length and clarity. Business Insider has verified her education and employment history.
In high school, I had no clue what I wanted to do, and even when I got to college, I didn’t know what I wanted to major in.
I knew I had an interest in the arts, but I grew up believing that doing anything related to creative work would not earn me any money.
As graduation neared, I applied to roles at nearly every financial institution, from investment banking to asset management. I also just accepted the first offer that was extended to me.
That was BlackRock.
Battling self-doubt and the desire to leave in my first six months
Things were really tough when I first started. The truth was that I picked BlackRock because of its brand name and didn’t evaluate if it was the right job for me.
I ended up in a position that required coding, and I had no idea how to code. As part of my job, I had to do data queries in SQL and perform risk analytics for mortgage-backed securities.
The job didn’t feel right for me. I didn’t have an engineering or computer science degree. I was one of the few hires from a liberal arts background.
That took a massive toll on my confidence. I was less than six months into the role and struggling daily. But I chose to persevere and stay on.
Part of it was because I liked the company culture and the people I got to work with. Part of it was because I still believed that work wasn’t supposed to be fun anyway.
Besides, the money was really good.
And things did get better. After two years, I switched job scopes and took on a sales-oriented role that was a better fit for me.
It wasn’t long before the nagging feelings of not being a good fit returned.
I remembered meeting up with friends who didn’t work in the industry. They would say, “Oh, Jennifer, you’re always complaining about your job. Why don’t you just quit?”
I knew I wanted to do something else, but my fear held me back. I didn’t know what I wanted to do if I left BlackRock, and I also thought that quitting would make me look like a failure.
I stayed at BlackRock for seven years and was promoted to vice president. I think I left the job more experienced and with a solid network.
Leaving BlackRock for the startup world
I took an 80% pay cut when I quit my job at BlackRock to join Style Theory, a fashion rental startup.
When I got the offer, I was like, “Wow, can I live off this little money?”
The office certainly wasn’t as glamorous as those in the central business district since it was located in an industrial building.
When I went on business trips for BlackRock, they would put me up at nice five-star hotels. But at Style Theory, I found myself staying in budget hotels. The two companies were worlds apart.
That said, I still valued my time at Style Theory. I had the idea of starting my own fashion rental company targeted at travelers, but I had no idea what it was like to start and run a business.
Style Theory became my business school. Instead of spending a few hundred thousand dollars on an MBA, I figured I could learn the ins and outs of building a startup.
One thing that Style Theory offered me was the huge amount of autonomy I had as an employee.
I didn’t get to lead many projects at BlackRock, even though I’d spent seven years there. There were just way too many people who were more senior than me.
Making another pivot to career coaching
I left Style Theory after three years. I still wanted to be an entrepreneur, and I felt that I had acquired the skills I needed from my time there.
After leaving Style Theory, I moved to Singapore just a few months before the COVID-19 pandemic hit. The strict lockdown measures made it difficult for me to meet new people.
I ended up starting a podcast on career pivots. This topic deeply resonated with me because I had struggled with figuring out what a “perfect for me” career looked like while dealing with the fear of leaving behind a “perfect on paper” job.
As my podcast began to take off, I started getting messages from people seeking help building their careers. Some even asked if they could pay me for my time.
Soon, my client list began to build, and I became the founder of my own career coaching firm, Ctrl Alt Career.
Looking back, I have no regrets about starting at BlackRock. I got a lot of good training and met many interesting people. My time at BlackRock shaped me into the person I am today.
If there’s one thing I could change, it would be to spend more time in my younger years discovering my interests instead of just going for the low-hanging fruit of whatever company was recruiting on campus.
That would’ve saved me from the pain and heartache I experienced in the first seven years of my career.
I would’ve probably been happier, if I had allowed myself to dream more, instead of weighing opportunities by whether they were practical or lucrative.
