This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Candice Gallagher, a 38-year-old British marketer and content creator. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I grew up in Asia. My family moved to Singapore when I was eight. We lived there for two years and then in Hong Kong for six years.
As an adult, I wanted to go back and re-experience that life. In January 2019, with no job but absolute clarity, I booked a one-way ticket to Singapore.
Asia was where I was meant to be
When I first came back to Singapore as an adult in 2019, I worked at a now-defunct company called Zilingo. I went home to the UK briefly during the COVID lockdown in 2020, but it became clear to me that I had to head back to Singapore.
I secured a job at a fintech company called CardUp and was back in Singapore in September 2021.
Living in Singapore was comfortable. The weather is good. There’s a lot of travel, it’s multicultural. And there’s a lot of great food.
But Singapore is an expensive city. I spent around $7,000 monthly: $4,000 on rent and about $3,000 on bills from restaurants, bars, supermarkets, traveling, and other expenses.
Dating as an expat was not a breeze
Dating anywhere in the world is difficult, and I’ve done it pretty seriously in four countries: England, the US, Singapore, and Switzerland, where I did my master’s degree.
But in Singapore, I found there was a very small pool of people who fit into the same cultural space that I operated in. It was like I was trying to go fishing in a very small pond.
Then, I saw a video on TikTok of a group in the US who had set up the dating event. I posted a video in Singapore and said, “Hey Singaporeans, is anyone with me? Would you like to come to an event like this?”
Then, the whole thing snowballed, and I ended up hosting a dating event called “Singlepore.”
It was pretty amazing. It reflects a desire for offline, real-world ways to connect with people.
Deciding to move back to the UK
I spend a lot of time thinking about life versus lifestyle. In Singapore, I was living a lifestyle that I very much enjoyed.
But I was starting to feel unfulfilled in my life. I’d been overseas for more than 18 years. I wanted to be around my friends from high school and college, so I decided to move home.
So, in July, I packed my bags and moved back to the UK.
It took me a long time to reach that conclusion because I moved abroad when I was eight. The idea of “just being an English girl in England” kicked off a bit of an identity crisis. I was like: “Who am I if I’m not an expat?”
But I think that thought process underestimates how exotic and diverse England can be.
I now feel a sense of discovery about what living in England will be like. I don’t know how it’ll go — but I’m going to give it a try.