“I think that garlic bread was moldy,” my husband said.
“What did you do?” I asked.
“I toasted the hell out of it and shared it around.”
So far, all my friends are still alive and didn’t complain about an upset stomach that night, so I’m guessing the only side effect was garlic breath.
Hey, though, the bread was a quarter of the usual price, so any potential discomfort is a small sacrifice for significant savings, in my opinion.
How I get my groceries for up to 80% off
I’m a self-admitted serial thrifter. I use a strategy that consistently cuts my grocery bill in half, which flies in the face of what some budget experts preach:
“Stick to the list.”
I say, “Stick it to the list.”
Ever since I started earning my own money and buying my own groceries, I’ve entered the supermarket with an open mind and zero meal plans.
I pretty much only buy what’s on sale or marked down — I’m bringing home the bacon, and it generally has to be eaten the same day.
Here are three strategies for how I make it work:
1. Timing
In my experience, the best bargains show up at the end of the day, especially on quieter weekdays when there’s a higher chance of unsold produce lingering on the shelves.
At my local market, the markdowns start at 2 p.m., but I usually find the best deals after 5 p.m. The supermarket sticks a second ‘Reduced to Clear’ sticker over the first, and this time, we’re talking.
I start in the fresh produce aisle, where my favorite supermarket is kind enough to group all the fruits and vegetables that are turning questionable into one section.
I’ll pick up a bag of broccoli (the fancy one with the stems) for $0.50 instead of $3, or a $4 box of blueberries for $1.
My next foray is the baked goods aisle, where I’ll find $3 garlic bread for $1 (with varying consequences), a bag of dinner rolls, or a cake that I definitely don’t need but can’t resist for 80% off.
What will it be today? It’s a rush, and I’m addicted to this game of culinary roulette.
2. Creativity
Once at home, I have a smorgasbord of disparate and rapidly deteriorating ingredients to work with.
I sometimes use apps and websites that match recipes to ingredients, but I generally prefer the challenge of coming up with something myself, which forces me to get creative and tap my inner food scientist.
When in doubt, I just throw everything into a stew, soup, stirfry, frittata, or fritters of various descriptions.
For example, for dinner last night, I made what I call “Stir-Fried Everything Noodles”: broccoli stems (80% off), sliced carrots (50% off), chopped capsicum (50% off), and red onion (60% off), tossed in soy sauce and sesame oil (both full price), thrown over instant noodles ($1 at full price), with a fried egg on top.
3. Freezing
If I’m not whipping up Stir-Fried Everything Noodles or the like that night, I’ll freeze my stash immediately.
My freezer is basically a time capsule of questionable decisions and future meals.
One of the tricks I’ve picked up along the way is that it’s better to cook the ingredients first and then freeze them.
For example, mushrooms tend to go slimy if you freeze them raw, but if you sauté them first, they freeze beautifully and can be tossed straight into pastas or stews later.
Another tip that saves me weekly is labeling everything in my freezer. It’s easier than you’d expect to mix up apricot jam and chicken curry.
Not everyone is so accepting of expiration dates as I am
I’ve been known to scratch the expiration date off the milk so my husband doesn’t get suspicious.
I also remove the “Reduced to Clear” stickers when entertaining. I do this to maintain some guise of pro-social behavior and domestic diplomacy.
Of course, this method isn’t perfect (see moldy garlic bread above).
Sometimes, things still get buried in the icy depths and emerge as freezer-burned relics that I end up tossing.
Other times, there’s not enough good cheese left after I’m finished slicing off the mould.
I also fall victim to my bargain-hunting addiction, like the time I bought an unnecessary triple-decker chocolate cake because it was marked down by 80%.
At the end of the month, however, whether you call it beating the system or just being disgusting, saving an average of 50% on my haul at the till means I can occasionally go out and enjoy food I didn’t have to hunt, haggle, or defrost into submission.