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If you have a tendency to say “everything’s fine” at work and brush things under the rug, you might be “glossing.”
Glossing is a form of toxic positivity — in which people suppress and deny their negative emotions — and it could be holding you back.
Leena Rinne, Skillsoft’s global head of coaching, told Business Insider there are many reasons “glossing” happens in the workplace, but it tends to occur during periods of stressful change and when people want to “fly under the radar.”
“I think it’s a natural response to anxiety or fear,” Rinne said.
A Leadership IQ survey of 27,048 executives, managers, and employees last year found that just 15% of employees thought their employer always openly shared its challenges, and 21% said they believed their organization was never upfront about the difficult times.
A survey conducted by the newsletter Science of People in June and answered by hundreds of readers also found that almost 68% of respondents believed they’d experienced toxic positivity in the last week.
Rinne said this behavior is usually imprinted on a workforce from the top down, and managers and their reports will “gloss” for different reasons.
“Leaders create culture,” Rinne said. “If I show up to a meeting with big feelings and my leader’s like, ‘Hi everybody,’ and just glosses, then the signal to me is that that’s what we need to do here.”
Leaders keeping their heads down and employees feeling fearful creates “a perfect storm for people to show up very carefully,” said Rinne.
When the workforce is guarded, everyone loses out, Rinne said.
“I’m less willing to evaluate the problems for better solutions. I’m less willing to take risks and be innovative,” she said. “So I think senior leaders and all leaders should be concerned about this.”
Work friendships are dying out
Fewer people are making friends at work. Some even think office friendships are dead since remote working became the norm, and layoffs are sweeping over many industries.
While some believe it’s for the better, others think those connections are vital for our mental well-being — particularly in combating loneliness.
Rinne said this has formed a culture where employees believe they are treated transactionally and are showing up to do a job and little else, which has, in turn, made glossing more prevalent.
People don’t want to bring their full selves, or even their best selves, to work because they feel less secure that they’ll be around long enough.
“There’s a reason why we show up this way at work, and I think that senior leaders in particular need to take a pretty hard look to say, what are we creating, and how are we motivating people to show up in this way?” Rinne said. “Because it’s not random, it’s not laziness.”
It’s not rocket science
Rinne said some signs of a glossing workforce are people not talking about tough issues at all or talking only behind their manager’s back. They might also not be turning on their cameras for remote meetings anymore.
If that’s happening, leaders need to do some self-reflection, Rinne said, and ask themselves if they’ve been glossing.
The negative impacts of toxic glossing can manifest as a burned-out workforce that feels stressed and ashamed, blames themselves and feels isolated, and calls in sick more frequently. It could even lead to employees taking extended periods of time off due to poor mental health.
Tackling the issue isn’t rocket science, though, Rinne said.
When a company is going through a tough quarter, managers may be tempted to gloss over it because it’s not wholly positive news, and they want to keep morale up. But Rinne said managers should pause and acknowledge the harder times.
“Hey, we are in a period of disruption, and disruption is hard,” she said. “We know it’s hard, and we’re so grateful you’re on this ride with us. There’s no one we’d rather have than you.”
Rinne said managers don’t have to take responsibility for the entire company. They can create “a bubble culture” for their own teams.
“It can be bananas out there,” she said. “Because of that, whatever it is, I can create a subculture in the larger culture of calm — people feeling seen, people feeling heard, people feeling focused.”
One manager Rinne worked with said they had begun starting meetings by getting everyone to stand up and stretch for 60 seconds.
“It’s no time at all,” Rinne said. “And everyone shows up just a little differently for the meeting.”
Framing bad news
This skill isn’t intuitive to many leaders, though, Rinne added, and many could benefit from coaching to help them navigate tough conversations. Some go too far the other way and are far too blunt and harsh when difficulties arise.
“Hearing from a leader how the disruptive change on the horizon is going to be so difficult,” Rinne said. “There’s a way to frame that eases anxiety, and there’s a way to frame it that probably amps it up.”
Leaders need to be taught the skills to be transparent in a way that builds trust, “not transparent in a way that scares people,” she said.
Ultimately, people appreciate honesty, even when the news isn’t wholly positive.
Rinne said employees would much rather not be shocked when layoffs are announced or a restructure breaks up their team. If they aren’t kept in the dark, they are more likely to be engaged after periods of disruption.
“You get more when people feel safe and feel engaged than if they’re punching that clock and glossing for hours,” Rinne said.
