Israa Nasir
Age: 37
Job: A therapist and the author of “Toxic Productivity“
When she knew she didn’t want to have kids: “The feeling of wanting to have kids just never came,” Nasir told BI.
She said her friends often imagined themselves as moms during imaginative play when they were children, but she pretended to be an explorer or adventurer.
“Even when I hit high school, I never really imagined a future where I was having a kid, but at that time, I didn’t know that there was a thing of not having kids because everybody around me had children,” she said.
“As I grew older, I started realizing this is a thing,” she added. “There are some people who don’t have children.”
Eventually, Nasir realized she had fallen into that group.
Why she doesn’t want them: “I’m very happy around kids,” Nasir said. “I think they’re very interesting. You can learn a lot from them.”
However, Nasir told BI she’s “not interested in parenting.”
“It doesn’t fit the lifestyle I’ve built for myself over the last 15 years,” she said. “I would have to shift a lot to accommodate a child.”
“I’m a therapist, and I know how important it is to have parents who are present, connected, and engaged,” Nasir continued. “I think that my role in the world is different.”
“Everybody has a role that they take on in this world, and when people have kids, a lot of their life, especially for the first five years, starts revolving around their children,” Nasir said, adding that she’s “not able to do that.”
How people have responded to her choice: Nasir said she and her husband were on the same page about not having kids but her choice has been more surprising for other family members.
“I’m South Asian. This is a very big part of our culture, so I definitely got a lot of disappointment and anger from my mom,” she said, adding that her mom still has not accepted her decision.
She also thinks her dad is sad about not being a grandpa, and some of her friends have expressed that she and her husband would have been great parents.
“I make a lot of space for other people’s grief on this because they lose something when I make a decision,” Nasir said. “It doesn’t mean that I’m not entitled to it, and it does not mean that I have to feel guilty about it.”
What she’s most excited about for her future: “I am excited about building something that I can leave behind for others that makes their life a little better,” she said. “One person can’t change the whole world, but I want to add an impact.”
“On a personal level, I’m really excited about being able to have experiences with my partner and have adventures and have a really big life on my terms,” she added.
