I’ve never been the type of mother to hover. I don’t micromanage my kids or dictate their every move. I’ve raised them to be independent, to think logically, and to question the world around them rather than blindly following the crowd.
My approach has always been rooted in trust, trust that they would use logic to make good decisions. So, when my daughter, who had skipped first grade and always seemed wise beyond her years, did something illegal without realizing it, it completely confused me and made me question my parenting.
She thought it was a harmless TikTok trend
Like most families in 2021, we were stuck in the house, trying to make sense of the “new normal” and not to die from boredom. I’ll admit I wasn’t at my best as a mother. The days blurred together, and in a lot of ways, I let my guard down. My daughter had more screen time than I’d normally allow, and though I trusted her, I hadn’t considered just how influential social media could be, even for a kid who should’ve known better.
It all started with a TikTok video — a creator had been posting random credit card numbers, telling his followers they could use them to buy things on Amazon. He said they were his cards; to a 12-year-old, it seemed like he was just being generous. He would post new numbers every day, and people would just use them.
My then-7th grader saw the video and, without hesitation, decided to try it out. She wanted to gift herself something just to see if it would work, and to her surprise, it did.
Kids make bad decisions
A few days later, a package with her name on it arrived at our place. I was confused since I hadn’t ordered anything for her. I asked her what it was, and her reaction was immediate.
She admitted what she had done casually, like it wasn’t a big deal. In her mind, it was just a fun experiment, something everyone on TikTok was doing. I, on the other hand, was stunned. How could my daughter — my brilliant, logical, straight-A student — fall for something so obviously wrong?
At that moment, I realized that intelligence doesn’t always equate to wisdom. No matter how smart she was, she was still just a kid. And kids make bad decisions, especially when the internet normalizes them.
We both learned a lesson
Looking back, I take full accountability for my role in this. My husband and I had debated whether she was too young for a phone, and I had been against it. I worried about the influence of social media and the exposure to things she wasn’t ready for. But my husband thought differently. He wanted her to have a way to connect with us when she walked to school. He won that argument, and I didn’t push back as hard as I should have.
But this incident served to prove my point.
First, I took her phone away — not as a punishment but as a necessary reset. Then, I sat her down and explained the weight of what she had done.
I explained to her that what she had done was not a simple TikTok challenge and that it was fraud, along with its implications. Of course, she hadn’t thought of it that way. To her, it was just a game, one she had won.
I walked her through what credit card fraud actually meant, how real people were affected, and why this wasn’t something she could brush off as an innocent mistake. She listened, and I could see the understanding settle in. It wasn’t until that moment that she truly grasped the consequences.
I shifted my parenting approach
This experience forced me to reevaluate my parenting. I had always prided myself on raising independent thinkers, but the hard truth is that kids are still just kids, no matter how smart. They’re still learning, still vulnerable to influence, and still capable of making really bad choices.
I realized that my role as a parent wasn’t just to give my children the freedom to make their own decisions but to guide them more intentionally through the choices they were facing. It wasn’t enough to assume she would always do the right thing; I needed to be actively involved in helping her understand why certain things were wrong in the first place.
From then on, I made a conscious effort to monitor her online activity more closely, have deeper conversations about internet trends, and ensure she felt comfortable coming to me before making questionable decisions.
Because even the smartest kids still need their parents.
