- My Tinder match and I were both looking for something casual.
- After spending a weekend together, we knew there was something special between us.
- Two weeks later, I told him I love him, and we are now happily married.
Lee and I matched on Tinder on October 26th, 2018. Initially, I assumed this match would be just like all the others: We would talk for a few days, and if plans made it past talking, it would be for a wine, dine, and hookup.
On Valentine’s Day that same year, I went through a spectacularly rough breakup with my previous partner of 4 and a half years. I had sworn off love and just wanted to be young and have fun. I was trying to make up for spending my college years in a committed relationship and was firmly in my “hoe phase.”
Similarly, Lee was also fresh out of a serious long-term relationship of nearly 7 years. His profile made it very clear that he was looking for short-term, casual connections. Hookups, fun, and no commitments.
But we ended up falling for one another.
Our first date almost didn’t happen
I canceled our plans about an hour before our first scheduled meetup. I was exhausted after a long day and knew I would be overstimulated at the bar.
I was still very interested in meeting Lee and quickly asked if we could hang out at his place instead of canceling completely, citing a need for a cozier, less people-filled atmosphere.
He was more than happy to still meet me, so I picked up some beer and drove to his place. He was waiting outside his building and walked over to my car as I parked.
In person, he looked very intimidating. His voice was far deeper than I had expected as he told me I had parked in the wrong lot and needed to move. Truthfully, I almost drove home right then. I was anxious about meeting a strange man at his place at night and felt a little unsure about the situation.
The promise of a cold beer with a cute guy overcame my anxieties. Swallowing my fears, I reparked my car and followed him inside.
One night quickly turned into the whole weekend
We went up to his apartment and proceeded to play “Overcooked” — a cooperative restaurant simulation game — for nearly eight hours while having some of the best conversations I had ever had with a new date.
That night turned into the next day, then another night and another day. We played more games, walked to brunch in the city, and laughed for hours together. Everything felt fun, comfortable, and casual.
When I drove back to my place on Monday, I found myself smiling in a way I hadn’t for quite some time. I chalked it up to fun activities, alcohol, and good conversation.
They say love comes when you least expect it
We spent the next two weeks seeing each other as often as possible. Even making up excuses to see each other between planned dates.
During that time, we both staunchly referred to our budding relationship as “casual fun” to friends, family, and one another.
On November 9th — two weeks after our initial date — we were setting up to have another sleepover weekend. I had been struggling for the previous couple of days, unwilling to admit that my feelings had grown far past casual.
At 2 a.m. that morning, when we finally snuggled under the blankets to go to sleep, I couldn’t hold my feelings in any longer. In the darkness, I quietly told him that we needed to talk.
“I know this is way too fast,” I began hesitantly, my heart beating quickly. “I don’t need or expect you to feel the same way right now, and I know it has only been two weeks, but I need you to know that I love you.”
Lee pulled me into his arms, and we held each other in silence for what felt like an eternity, but it was probably less than a minute. He kissed the top of my head and said, “I love you too. I was afraid to say anything because it felt too soon, and I was worried it would scare you away.”
Our ensuing relationship was full of love and laughter. We moved in together about a year later and got engaged a few months after that. We were married on May 8th, 2021, and still happily live together with our dog, Athena.
Dating online is difficult, and endless swiping can feel stagnant and pointless. But connection can be found in the most unlikely of places, even when you aren’t looking for it.
Be open to new experiences, and maybe your next match on Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge will be your forever love. Or maybe it will just be casual fun. Either way, you won’t know until you try.
