- Lee McKeeman found out he was autistic in his late 30s while he was working at Meta.
- Being autistic has made it hard to navigate office politics and communication at work, he said.
- His neuro differences have also set him apart in positive ways, such as with hyperfocus, he added.
This as-told-to essay is based on a transcribed conversation with 42-year-old Lee McKeeman, from Texas, about navigating Big Tech as an autistic person. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
As a child, I felt different, but I didn’t know why.
When I was a teenager, I found out I had ADD — my mom took me for an evaluation after my teachers gave her feedback that I was sometimes disruptive.
Later in my life, one of my wife’s relatives suggested I had some autistic behaviors. As time went on, I read more about autism and became interested in getting an evaluation.
Finding someone who evaluated adults was difficult, but I managed to get an evaluation in my late 30s. It confirmed I was autistic and also had sensory processing disorder. At the time, I was an engineer at Meta.
I’ve worked in tech my entire career, including for Big Tech companies: Amazon, Meta, and Google. Though I haven’t always known I’m autistic, looking back, I can see that it’s impacted my ability to handle office politics and communicate in the workplace. However, my neuro differences have also come with superpowers that help me stand out as an employee.
I’ve struggled to navigate the workplace because of my neuro differences
I got my first full-time job in 2004, shortly after finishing a computer science degree. Multitasking can be difficult for autistic people, and unlike in school, where I had to manage multiple classes and tests, I found it relieving to enter the workforce and have one focus. I showed up, did my job, and went home.
However, it wasn’t clear to me how to approach job searching. I didn’t know about salary expectations and didn’t negotiate my first offer. I’m generally uncomfortable with conflict and wasn’t willing to ask questions or look foolish. I feel like this is part of social differences related to autism.
Once I was in the workplace, I found navigating office politics challenging. Early on, I didn’t know how to ask for more money or get promoted. I thought that if I kept working, things would go fine, which I now realize is naive.
I joined Amazon in 2012 after a recruiter reached out to me. I hadn’t worked at large tech companies in the past and wasn’t used to rigorous processes around promotions.
At one point, I was trying to get promoted as an engineer, but there was always some reason it didn’t work out. I think some of those gaps were about salespersonship — self-advocacy and visibility — and knowing the right people. I struggled with these things because of a lack of social and situational awareness.
I felt I was doing good technical work and that if I solved senior engineer-worthy problems, then I was succeeding. However, I was often doing this in isolation, and I didn’t understand the importance of showing other people or getting their input.
In 2021, I joined Meta as an engineer. They had a team-matching process, which I really struggled with. It took me months to find a team to join. I didn’t know how to approach a new work environment. I’d been at Amazon for almost nine years. I knew how things worked and how to join a team there, whereas now I felt the expectations of me weren’t very clear.
I’ve been working at Google for the last two and a half years. Last year, I was in discussions with managers about improving my performance, and I felt like I was at risk of losing my job.
With autism, I notice that my performance ebbs and changes, and I can get tired quickly. Sometimes, this is because of autistic burnout, but outside this, if I’m struggling with a problem and don’t know how to get help, it quickly exhausts me. I worked with a psychiatrist to try to build up my capacity, which I think helped me to overcome some of my challenges.
I struggle to understand some requests. Like when asked to “pull something out” of a document, I wonder whether I’m meant to put that content in a new document or just remove it.
I can be very verbose, thinking that if I provide a lot of extra detail when communicating, I won’t be misunderstood. However, this can be distracting for others. One manager suggested I write a TLDR above my message, which has been helpful, but it’s still a work in progress for me.
My neuro differences have also helped me stand out in positive ways
Hyperfocus is one of the superpowers that comes with my neuro differences. Where other people might give up investigating a problem, I’ll keep digging until I solve it because of my curiosity.
I spend days digging into issues. If it’s not high-priority, people can think I’m “wasting” time, but at times when I’d get all my tasks done and solve something additional, it would impress people. It’s distinguished me from others during my career.
Since I see things differently when it comes to problem-solving, I often make suggestions when reviewing other people’s work. Being able to identify unseen problems is a very valuable skill in my line of work.
However, I’ve had to learn to get better at communicating those suggestions in a way that can be heard since I’ve been told I’m too blunt or inflexible when giving feedback.
Getting support is crucial for people with neuro differences
I’m part of a group for autistic individuals at Google. Having support and asking if others have experienced similar problems to me is helpful. You don’t have to have an official diagnosis to be a part of groups like this, but getting an evaluation was empowering for me to feel I belonged.
I also use other resources like occupational therapy and psychiatry for support with different aspects of my neuro differences.
If you have neuro differences, finding support is critical. Learning about yourself and how to support yourself can be really powerful.
It’s exhausting to think you just need to work harder and be like everyone else to succeed.
Do you have a Big Tech career story you’d like to share? Email the reporter at ccheong@businessinsider.com
