- My family and I take a big trip together every year, but I’m struggling to schedule it this year.
- My teens are now busy with their own schedules, so we can’t find the right time.
- I’ve decided to move forward with the trip without them, so family time is no longer guaranteed.
My family and I have been trying to plan our annual summer vacation for more than a month. We’ve left every conversation hanging so far, promising to talk things over later. It’s taking a long time because things around here are getting complicated.
We take an annual road trip to visit family every summer, so I need to coordinate with them about when we’ll visit. My work is flexible, but my husband needs to put in a vacation request and organize work schedules. We typically try to plan early in the year and get everything in order.
Except now, I also have to take my kids’ schedules into account.
I used to be able to make plans for them. Not everything is easy with small children, but making plans was much simpler. They couldn’t go anywhere without me. I loved loading everyone up and taking them hiking or on a day trip to a national park.
Now, three out of four of our teens drive and go places without me. This is what we wanted as their parents — kids who have grown up to be independent and have their own interests.
But along with all this freedom comes the freedom to start making plans without consulting me, especially for my college-aged kids. This suddenly makes planning family trips difficult.
I decided to make decisions without my kids
My oldest son graduates college this spring and I don’t know where he’ll be yet this summer. My middle two may have summer jobs. Some of the kids want to take summer classes. Some of them have band camp. Even my middle schooler is busy as a counselor-in-training at a sleepaway camp.
It’s been a hassle trying to find a period this summer where everyone is free. I’m starting to think that’s impossible, so I’ve decided to make moves without them.
After numerous phone calls and texts to try to work out everyone’s schedule, I took the leap and gave my parents the dates of our trip.
Since we’re driving, the older kids can decide at the last minute if they can make it. I hope they can, but at this point, I don’t know what will happen, and the uncertainty is getting to me.
Family time is becoming less of a guarantee as my kids get older
I love our family vacation time, but I’m trying to be realistic about our changing lives. If we can’t all be together on our annual trip, I’ll try to plan something else. Maybe we’ll go on a short camping trip or just have a weekend where everyone’s home and we have a big barbecue. I don’t care about what we do as much as I care that we spend time together.
Important family bonding events aren’t guaranteed as the kids get older. I hope everyone will want to keep coming home and doing things as a family. I’m holding on to each vacation and basking in these moments together.
I’m also making sure I enjoy time with the kids who can come along on each one. It wouldn’t be fair for me to mope because one of their siblings couldn’t make it this year, and it wouldn’t be much fun for any of us.
I don’t think this is the end of our family vacations. I still travel halfway across the country to spend time with my parents almost every summer. But I know these vacations might not look the same or be as easy to plan as when the kids were little. I’m trying to be flexible and creative and stay open to what our vacations will look like in the future.
