When my 10-year-old daughter, Vivian, said I should get myself the same leggings as her, I arched an eyebrow.
I immediately thought of my belly and cellulite, but then I scanned the leggings displayed so perfectly on the store’s table. They were so soft and colorful that each pair screamed, “You got this!”
Still, I thought those leggings looked too small and tight for my 42-year-old body, especially after having kids.
My daughter encouraged me to buy them anyway. I bought us matching black, brown, and blue leggings; mine are four sizes bigger than my daughter’s.
Since then, matching clothing with her has been a way to connect in a new way I didn’t expect.
Matching with my daughter has surprisingly built up my confidence
At first, I thought my daughter’s sporty style with crop tops, tennis skirts, and high-waisted leggings wasn’t for my curvy body type. But after I bought those leggings, I also purchased the same shirt as hers — a few sizes up.
When I put on that outfit, I felt nostalgic for when I ran track in high school — back when I felt like my best self.
When my daughter often pairs the leggings with a yellow lightweight relaxed fit top, I notice her confidence getting ready for the day. I admire her inner love and self-belief, something I had left behind years ago.
When I told my daughter I was self-conscious about my stomach in our matching shirt, she said, “Who cares?”
I wish I had her bravery. I wish I had her ability to cherish her body, to wear what she wants, and to not care what anyone thinks.
Our matching outfits also brought us closer together
As a divorced mom, wearing matching leggings and shirts with my girl is also a way to connect when we are apart.
Sometimes, my daughter will text me to tell me she is wearing a certain shirt so we can match, even though we aren’t face-to-face. It squeezes my heart and makes me feel closer to her.
Similarly, when I’m shopping by myself for shirts or leggings, I text her if she wants one, too.
When we are together, going to the local mall with her has opened my eyes to the idea that it’s OK to buy myself something nice and trendy, especially with her encouragement. I’ve found that matching some of our clothing has made shopping memorable for both of us.
I’m still working on my body image, but I’m celebrating this time
Recently, I noticed an athletic blue shirt that my daughter would love; I hesitated to buy it for myself to match. The shirt felt buttery-soft with a hint of compression, but I only thought about my stomach.
I’m not a track star in high school anymore, and I’m not as lean as I was before kids. But I thought of my daughter’s smile and went for it.
When I bought her a shirt with a twist-open back, I decided to get one for myself, too. But then I told her I would probably return it because it was too tight. She said, “No, keep it. It looks good on you.” I believed her.
I know matching some of our clothing is special, for now, because soon enough, she will want to go shopping at the mall without me and might not want to wear the same shirt as her mom.
