- I became a dad when I was in my late 40s and knew the decision meant I’d be an older parent.
- There are plenty of benefits, and a few challenges, as well.
- I’m not as energetic as when I was younger, but being when them lets me relive my childhood.
My wife and I decided to have our first child when I was in my late 40s, and I knew what I was getting myself into. Before I was a writer, I was an elementary school teacher for more than a decade. I witnessed firsthand when an older parent would come into the classroom to pick up their child, and the rest of the students would mistakenly think it was actually their grandparent picking them up.
Those parents usually just laughed off the mistake, but I’d be willing to bet a few of them occasionally felt hurt and isolated.
And now here I am. I am 50 years old with two young toddlers, and I myself am just a year or two away from likely being mistaken for their grandfather.
My wife and I met when I was 41
I didn’t have my first date with my future wife until I was 41 years old. Then, after we were married, we had to go through IVF for a year, but we lucked out by having good embryos, which later turned out to be Ellie and Jack. We’re quite a bit older than parents who had similar-age children, but we felt up to the task.
I have less energy than I would have if I’d had kids earlier
Those who are 50 and older realize things change when you get to this age. You can literally go to sleep at night completely healthy and then wake up in the morning with some sort of injury. It’s all very strange.
But guess what? My kids don’t care that I somehow pulled a hamstring while I was dreaming. They want me on the floor playing with them or running after them as they pedal their bikes down the street.
They want me to know all the characters in “Bluey” and to be able to sing along with “The Wiggles.” No excuses. Perhaps younger parents are more up-to-date on some of these things, but I still look back fondly on “Scooby Doo” and other shows from my childhood.
We’re more stable than when we were younger in a few ways
We are much more financially stable than we were when we were younger. Money isn’t as much of an issue any longer. Plus, I can still remember being 25 and trying to figure out how to be an adult myself. Back then, I still ate cereal several times a day! Most of the time nowadays, I feel like I have the adulting thing down.
Plus, I would like to think I have more patience than I used to. If one of my kids is misbehaving or having a tough day in general, it is easier to wait out the storm and help them through it.
I get to relive my childhood through them
Something that I also never really considered when having children so late in life was that I would be reliving my childhood through them. I’m sharing with them what we used to do as kids back in the “old days.”
There are times when I feel ancient, like explaining to them that phones used to hang on walls and didn’t have screens with fancy apps built into them. But there are times when I also feel like a young kid again, as we play house and discuss which superheroes are the most powerful.
As you get older, you reflect back on your life. I get to educate my kids on the old television shows I used to love, the children’s books I read over and over, and I share life lessons with them that took me decades to learn.
Time moves differently now that I’m a parent
As I spend each moment with little Ellie and Jack, I do realize that I probably will have less time with them than younger parents. Jack will be just graduating from high school when I am officially a senior citizen.
Am I going to meet my grandchildren someday? God only knows. But I do want my kids to remember as much as they can so they can share memories with their own children if I am not around.
I am doing my best to ensure the memories do not fade too much over time. I have written a couple of widely-available children’s books that use situations that our family has encountered.
I have no regrets
There are days when the children wake me up at 5 a.m. and want to play. There are weeks when I do not get the opportunity to talk to another adult. But when I am on my deathbed someday, I won’t regret not being able to sleep in late. I am not going to wish I had a chance to catch up on the latest shows and movies. I am going to be thinking of my children and hoping I did my best with them.
