I was entering a new decade of my life at 30 and decided to take inventory of my life.
I was happily living in San Francisco with a wonderful group of friends. I had a rent-controlled apartment and had saved enough money for a down payment on a home.
After a while, though, I felt like something was missing. I needed somewhere that would foster my creativity and give me a new perspective.
So, at 30, I quit my job and took that money to put toward living in Italy for a year. In that one year in Florence, I learned more about myself and my self-worth than I’d learned in my entire life up to that point.
My friends and family didn’t understand but I knew taking a gap year at 30 was right for me
The reality was that I was single and had an unexplained drive to explore myself more before committing to a person or a place.
More of my friends were getting married and having kids, but I wasn’t ready for that. A part of me was afraid to move to a new country, knowing it would only make relating with them harder, but I ultimately chose to do what was best for me.
My parents, who had taken the classic trajectory of marriage, kids, and buying a house, definitely didn’t understand it. Some friends shared their concerns about what I would be gaining from this.
To me, though, I had saved almost $40,000 and I had every right to choose how to use it. I hope my story sheds light on the idea that taking a gap year at 30 should not be frowned upon and doesn’t have to be scary.
How I found my community in Florence
I knew no one in Italy at the time, but I found an apartment in Florence and a side hustle writing music to keep me structured and afloat (I even managed to salvage a portion of my savings when I returned home).
When I first arrived, I was very ambitious. I visited seven countries within the first six weeks. Although I wouldn’t change these experiences, I realize now that I quickly burned myself out.
I was so focused on making this time count and checking off places from my bucket list that I forgot to enjoy the luxury of calling Italy my home. I needed to slow down.
I joined some Facebook groups for nomads in Florence. At a happy hour for Girls Gone International, I met what would soon be my five close girlfriends. They were all like me: single, 30, and giving up a stable life to experience something greater within the world.
It felt so good to be around like-minded people. It also helped me find comfort in the times when I questioned the decisions that got me to Florence.
With a community in place, I started slowing down on my travels and diving into Italian culture. I joined a creative writing program where I met writers with endless ideas. It helped boost my self-confidence in my own writing, and through that, I was able to reinvent myself into a better, more balanced version of myself.
I also started taking Italian classes with a private tutor, and before I knew it, I was able to hold my own when ordering at a restaurant or conversing with Italians at a bar. I was creating, speaking the language, and walking the streets of Florence without a map.
Eventually, I started seeing myself as a part of the world, instead of someone looking at it. The Italian phrase, “ricominciare da zero” (meaning “to start from the beginning”) became my motto.
I found the new perspective I was searching for
I returned to the States in October, but instead of going back to what I knew in San Francisco, I took another leap into the unknown and moved to New York City.
I’d never felt ready for New York before. In Italy, however, I’d gained confidence, which made me feel fearless in taking the next step in my creative endeavors.
Living in an artist-driven city like Florence and meeting a community of writers who both supported and inspired my work changed the game for me.
Since returning to the US and living in New York, I’ve written and edited my first poetry book and am supporting myself as a successful freelance writer. If I hadn’t moved to Italy, I might not have become this version of myself.
The experience felt priceless, and I continue to stay in touch with the friends I made in Florence. Looking back, I would spend the money again the same way. In fact, I’m now saving up to buy a Tuscan villa to host creative writing workshops in Italy.
