- Choosing to quit my job and be a stay-at-home mom was the biggest decision I made for my career.
- It was also the easiest decision to make. I’m filled with magical memories of my kids growing up.
- My two sons are nearly grown and we share a closeness that wouldn’t be there if I had been away.
“What do you do all day?”
That was the question I loathed answering every time working moms and their husbands asked me. There’s nothing wrong with the question, per se, but the tone always felt slightly judgmental.
Up until I gave birth to my firstborn, I was a finance lawyer at an American law firm in London. My job as a solicitor in the city took me to Hong Kong, South Africa, Egypt, Russia, the Czech Republic, and France.
I gave it up in a flash to be a stay-at-home mom. It was the biggest career decision I’d made, but it was also the easiest and a privilege to have had the choice. My husband financially supported our family while I raised the kids.
I loved raising my kids, but it was still a job
I swapped business class travel for a double stroller. My jet-setter lifestyle was replaced with trips to local parks and libraries.
The seemingly constant feeding, weaning, and cleaning was mostly boring, relentless, and exhausting work — not to mention, lonely.
Being a stay-at-home mom is the toughest job out there that you don’t get paid for. You do it out of love, but it’s still a job.
That said, I have no regrets about choosing my kids over my career. Getting to raise my two sons was fulfilling in more ways than I could have imagined.
For example, being on the receiving end of my boys’ unconditional love was healing for me. It allowed parts of my character — that I had suppressed during my career — to flourish.
Yes, there was the hell that was potty training, the weeks of my life spent in the car on school runs, and every trip to the doctor’s when they were hurting, and I couldn’t help them. Then, there were the magical moments.
In their company, I could be a child again. Stopping to look at a robin in a tree was never something I did pre-children, but when I heard, “Look, mommy, a robin!” the three of us halted and took a moment to enjoy this simple pleasure.
There were also the times during rush hour when, amid blasting horns and angry drivers, we’d listen to books on tape like “The Secret Garden,” “The Borrowers,” and “The Penguin Who waned to Find Out” — childhood classics that I’d missed out on in my childhood.
I was moved to tears as baby penguin was reunited with his mother. The tears eventually stopped after the 18th rerun. However, moments like these made being a stay-at-home mom never feel like pulling the short straw; it felt like winning the lottery.
I couldn’t go back to law, so I changed careers once my kids were more independent
My two boys are 17 and 15 now. We share a closeness that I believe only exists because I was there from day one.
As they navigate the tricky teenage years, I know them on a deeper level.
From stressing over exams to feeling self-conscious about acne, I can confidently support and help them through these obstacles.
Since they were old enough to walk to school alone, I started preparing for empty nest syndrome. However, it was too late to return to a legal career — the child in me had taken up residence and needed a channel for creativity.
So, I pursued a new career in writing, and fortunately, it paid off.
Now, when that all-too-common question comes up, “What do you do all day?” I have a slightly different answer: I say, “I write.” Then, I quickly add, “Before writing, I was a full-time mom, and out of my three careers, that was the most challenging and fulfilling.”
Angela Zaher is a freelance writer based in London. Her articles have been published in The Evening Standard, Delicious, Platinum, Good Housekeeping, Ori, and The Brussels Times. She’s a columnist and writes regular restaurant reviews for luxury lifestyle magazine, Time & Leisure. Find her on Instagram @angela_zaher.
