Have you ever sat in a meeting and wondered why it feels like only two or three people dominate the entire conversation? These louder colleagues usually speak up first, share their two cents, and take up most of the meeting time. Before you know it, the meeting is over and you never said a thing.
As a global communications expert, I work with a lot of smart and talented people. Even among these skilled and capable professionals, the biggest frustration I hear goes something like this: “I work hard and deliver, but I still don’t feel like I get noticed for my efforts, let alone rewarded with promotions or other opportunities. Why?!”
In my new book, “Smart, Not Loud: How to Get Noticed at Work for All the Right Reasons,” I teach professionals how to unlock bigger opportunities by leveling-up this one skill: communication. It’s not about being assertive, dominant, or aggressive if that’s not your style. It’s about being intentional and smart so that when you do chime in, people listen.
Here are five phrases the most successful people use every day to help them get noticed and get ahead.
1. ‘I hear what you’re saying’
Brilliant communicators know that in order for people to listen to them and their ideas, they have to make other people feel heard first.
If you’re in a meeting and you want to jump in, instead of just quickly saying what’s on your mind, potentially cutting people off, listen carefully and wait for them to finish speaking.
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Then preface your comments with, “I hear what you’re saying.”
These words will show the person that you’re acknowledging them and their thoughts, even if you have an opposing point of view. You don’t want the other person getting defensive, which can prevent them from considering what you have to say.
2. ‘I’m excited about this’
Humans make decisions using both logic and emotions. However, people are far more likely to remember and be persuaded by stories than by facts alone. As the saying goes, they’re more likely to remember how you made them feel than what you said.
To be a smart communicator, leverage emotion and incorporate stories in your speaking. This means using words like “excited” and “thrilled” to drum up support. Smile when you’re speaking or raise your eyebrows to magnify the impact. When signalizing urgency, use words like “worried” and “concerned” in a downward pitch to project gravitas.
Help people feel what you feel, leveraging your words, body language, and tone of voice. If you have a relevant story — an anecdote about how your product is being used out in the real world, for example, or from your past experience on a similar project — share it.
3. ‘Here’s what’s new’
One of the most important things you can do at work is to ask for what you want. Another is to nudge strategically to ensure you get a response.
Instead of just saying, “Hi, following up here,” which can feel pushy and ineffective, preface your follow-up with a new piece of information. For example, you might say, “Since our last conversation where I pitched X project, I found some interesting data that supports my hypothesis about Y. Here’s what’s new ….”
This strategy can take away some of the awkwardness you may feel, make your ask seem timely and fresh, and move the conversation forward. Getting the answers you’re looking for can help you accomplish more — and do it more easily.
4. ‘Back then … ‘
I’ve discovered — firsthand, and sometimes the hard way — that just because you’re talented, it doesn’t mean people will notice. Working hard and doing great work doesn’t automatically mean you’ll get, or even be considered for, a plum project or raise.
Talking about your accomplishments can unlock more opportunities. But how do you do that without feeling like you’re bragging?
Use the power of contrast to highlight the progress you’ve made and the impact you’ve had. For example, you might say, “The design changes we made to streamline the site made it so much easier to navigate. Now we’re seeing the average consumer complete the purchase process in under a minute, but back then it took twice as long.”
5. ‘Thank you for … ‘
When someone helps you at work — endorses you for a project, lends a helping hand, makes an introduction — you might express your gratitude by saying, “Thank you.” But smart communicators know it’s not just about saying those two words; it’s about saying what you’re thankful for and why.
Being specific can magnify your appreciation, make our gratitude feel more authentic, and lift the other person up. It leaves a positive impression and can make them feel more inclined to repeat that helpful action.
It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it
As you think about using these five phrases at work, you might, for example:
- Change up the rate of your words, sometimes speeding up when speaking, but then slowing down when you’re trying to drive a point home.
- Use your hands. For example, lift them up and show your palms to signal trust or use your fingers to signal the numbers you’re talking about to give your words structure and emphasis.
It may feel unnatural at first to incorporate these phrases and techniques, but they can help you highlight your brilliance. Because you can stand out in the workplace and get ahead in your career — even if being loud, brazen, and assertive isn’t your style.
Jessica Chen is a global communications expert, keynote speaker, and a former Emmy-Award Winning TV journalist. Her new book “Smart, Not Loud: How to Get Noticed at Work for All the Right Reasons” teaches smart professionals how to develop workplace confidence and build a career they love using strategic communications skills to stand out. Connect with Jessica on LinkedIn and Instagram.
Want to be a successful, confident communicator? Take CNBC’s new online course Become an Effective Communicator: Master Public Speaking. We’ll teach you how to speak clearly and confidently, calm your nerves, what to say and not say, and body language techniques to make a great first impression. Get started today.